Ladies and gentlemen: the story you are about to read is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.
I am paraphrasing the classic intro from the TV series Dragnet because this really is a true story.
I find the following email and press release landing in my inbox.
“It is the new wonder of the seas, a masterpiece of boundless beauty. From September 23 to 26, the undisputed star of the Beautiful Boat Show 2026 will be ONDA ENORME, the largest ONDA ever built. […] The new flagship propels the ONDA legend into an unprecedented dimension, reinterpreting on a never-before-explored scale the signature design cues that turned the brand into a global nautical icon.
Penned, much like every ONDA masterpiece of the past thirty years, by The Cool Design Guys […], ONDA ENORME stands out for balanced proportions, a sleek silhouette, and pure lines, which together craft an image of extraordinary harmony. Contemporary details and sculpted surfaces, highlighted by metallic-tone paintwork, deliver depth and three-dimensionality to the profile.”
Let us list them in order: wonder, masterpiece of boundless beauty, undisputed star, largest ever built, flagship, unprecedented dimension, never-before-explored scale, global nautical icon. And then, masterpieces and extraordinary harmony.
Are these superlative enough for you, or do you feel the urge to pack in a few more?
Even conceding, for the sake of argument, that these are vital to grasping the sheer scale of the yacht and the shipyard in question, let us dig a bit deeper.
What do “contemporary details” actually mean in concrete terms?
A cleat and a fairlead showing up simultaneously?
Were the “sculpted surfaces” carved out with a hammer and chisel?
Do boats lacking such surfaces, “highlighted by metallic-tone paintwork,” turn out flat and two-dimensional because their outline fails to express “depth and three-dimensionality”?
Aside from the fact that a profile usually calls to mind an outline defining an edge or an object viewed from the side, which brings attention to length and height rather than three-dimensionality.
Fair enough, I am just a simple guy from the provinces and perhaps I miss the grand flights of fancy required by modern copywriting.
Yet the question arises naturally: is there anything genuinely captivating or interesting in this message?
In other words, even if the shipyard were truly the hypothetical ONDA, how much attention would this copy actually secure in the press, and more importantly, inside the desires of a prospective owner?
To be sure, the shipyard’s actual name works heavily in its favor, being one of the most celebrated in the industry.
This brings up another point: carrying a strong brand lets you get away with the occasional lapse.
As the Tuscan proverb collected by Giuseppe Giusti notes: “Build a good name, then wet the bed and they will say you were sweating”.
So what two lessons can you take away from this single read?
First, giving your marine communication a major leap forward takes very little effort when even the top players rely on inflated superlatives and generic press release fillers that end up saying nothing.
Second, possessing a recognized brand grants more room for missteps.
That makes shaping how people perceive you essential, especially early on when you are starting out as an entity selling products or services.
Keep in mind: real substance must back that perception, otherwise the game unravels quickly, because sharp marketing on a poor product only accelerates failure.
